Thursday, September 11, 2014

101 Things to Tie or Clamp the Umbilical Cord With......(the lighter side)

1.    A shoestring
2.    A hair ribbon
3.    Dental floss
4.    A guitar string
5.    Embroidery floss
6.    Ribbon from a Christmas gift
7.    Candle wicking
8.    The rubber band that comes around your newspaper
9.    Hair from a horse's tail
10.  Your telephone cord
11.  Yarn from that sweater you've been knitting
12.  Picture hanging wire
13.  A pipe cleaner
14.  The ribbon marker from the center of your Bible
15.  Elastic from your husband's shorts
16.  The little rope tie that holds up your husband's sweat pants
17.  A skinny necktie
18.  Duct tape
19.  Trash bag twistie ties
20.  Bread wrapper twistie ties
21.  Mini blind pull cord
22.  Clothesline rope
23.  Chain from your husband's dog tags
24.  Long piece of plastic wrap rolled into a narrow rope
25.  Your mouse cord
26.  A nylon knee-high
27.  The string from your teabag
28.  Vice-grip pliers
29.  Fishing line
30.  Bungi cord
31.  Elastic cord from a party hat
32.  Used typewriter ribbon
33.  Weed eater line
34.  A mouse trap (preferably one that never had a mouse in it)
35.  String from your graduation tassel
36.  Nintendo controller cord
37.  Metal hair barrette
38.  First aid tape
39.  Copper electrical wire
40.  Kite string
41.  A latex disposable glove
42.  A deflated birthday party balloon
43.  If giving birth in the a strip off the bottom of a shower curtain
44.  A paper figure it out
45.  The string from your yo-yo
46.  Cord from your electric razor
47.  Strand of hemp rope from your macramé plant hanger
48.  Cut one of the string ties off your kitchen apron
49.  The spaghetti shoulder strap off your lingerie
50.  A string from the net of your basketball hoop
51.  Wires from your CD headphone set
52.  Quilter's thread
53.  Empty Wal-mart bag, rolled into a rope
54.  Empty plastic produce bag, also rolled into a rope
55.  Long strip of cotton gauze
56.  Long clear plastic tubing from your fish tank
57.  A strip of Ace bandage
58.  A baby wipe rolled lengthwise
59.  A binder clip
60.  A bulldog clip
61.  Your daughter's jump rope
62.  The string from those clackers you haven't used since 1970
63.  Some string you cut from your hammock
64.  A rolled up bandana
65.  The string from your archery bow
66.  A silk scarf
67.  Fiber optic cable
68.  A cat collar tightened very'd probably have to make a new hole for the buckle
69.  Rip the ruffle off the bottom of you slip
70.  Use one of the tie-backs from your curtains
71.  Wires from inside your telephone handset
72.  Rawhide ties from your moccasins
73.  Lawnmower pull-cord
74.  Cut off some of your hair and braid it into a rope
75.  Plastic tubing from your enema bag
76.  Belt from your bathrobe
77.  The ribbon around your teddy bear's neck
78.  An empty king-size Skittles bag, rolled into a long, narrow shape
79.  That gold chain your husband always wears around his neck
80.  A pony-tail holder
81.  Some webbing from your fish net
82.  Your ankle bracelet
83.  The greens from your carrot tops
84.  A big rubber band that comes around fresh stalks of broccoli
85.  Some webbing left over from when you re-webbed your lawn chairs
86.  A rolled up handkerchief
87.  Some string from your bikini
88.  That string of pearls you got for your birthday
89.  A long piece of packing tape
90.  A piece of nylon dog leash
91.  Cut off one of your bra straps
92.  The string from your child's spinning top

While the previous entries have been tongue in cheek, the point is well taken - unassisted birthers know that the umbilical cord can be tied with virtually anything, or not tied at all.  If you're out in nature, pull up some of these wild plants which are medicinal, the stalks of which can be used as a tying material:
93.    Yarrow
94.    White prairie clover
95.    Purple coneflower (echinacea)
96.    American licorice
97.    Evening primrose
98.    Seneca Snakeroot
99.    Chokeberry stem
100.  Wild Alfalfa
101.  Yucca

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