When an unborn baby, for whatever reason, chooses not to continue its earthly life, nothing is more heartrending for the mother. The process of allowing that baby to pass from your body is just as special, sacred and private as that of a full-term delivery. When you know for certain that your baby is going to leave, you do not want to be in a cold, clinical environment surrounded by strangers. You want the privacy of your own home, your own room, your own bed, and the loving hands of a partner or friend. In some cases, you may wish to be totally alone. This need for a quiet, sacred space to allow the event to occur is totally understandable and should be honored by those around you.
My first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. At that time, I did not know anything about unassisted birth, or even home birth. My husband was military, and we had only been married two months. I was 11 weeks pregnant, and we had just moved from the only town I had ever lived in, to his temporary duty station in another state. We were living in a hotel, and didn't know anyone there except for a few soldiers who were also temporarily assigned there.
One day about a week after I had joined him there, I noticed a small brown spot of blood on my underpants. I didn't think anything of it, it was only a small spot. I went about my daily activities. By that evening, there were more spots, and I was not feeling well. The next morning, I went to the base hospital and was seen by a doctor. He said that my uterus which should have been the size of a grapefruit by that time was only the size of a lemon. He felt that the possibility of a miscarriage was great, but put me on bedrest at home with the instructions to come back in if things got worse. There was nothing he could do.
I went back home, and got into bed. My husband had gone on to work that morning, and I told him I would speak to him at lunchtime. I was feeling awful. My stomach was cramping, and I was very uncomfortable. I was soaking a lot of sanitary napkins. I remember lying in bed with the television on. I would go for about 20 minutes feeling pretty good, then I would get this overwhelming sick feeling, and a bloated crampy feeling in my stomach. Then it would subside. As the day wore on, the sick, bloated crampy feeling got more intense and more frequent. At about 2:00 in the afternoon, I felt so bad, I got out of bed and sat on the toilet. The cramps were very intense, and I just felt consumed by this sick sensation. All of a sudden, my body gave a huge shudder, and a huge glob of something slipped out of me into the toilet. Immediately the sick, crampy sensations ceased, and my body was peaceful. That's how I knew that whatever had been happening to me was over. Deep inside me, I knew. But I could not bring myself to look into that toilet full of blood to find whatever it was that had slipped out of me. I regret now that I did not, but I was afraid. I felt like all the blood in my body had drained out. I felt weak, and frightened. I called over to the motel room next to ours where my husband's friend and fellow-soldier was home for lunch. I told him that I couldn't reach my husband, but I needed to go to the hospital and would he please drive me. While we were in the car, he asked me if I thought I had lost the baby, and I said yes. We drove silently the rest of the way to the hospital.
Once there, they contacted my husband and got him there. They insisted that it was necessary to do a d&c where they go in with a suction hose and suck out any remaining pieces of tissue. We didn't know any better, so we allowed them to do it. It's the same equipment and procedure they use for a suction abortion. They said it would only cramp for a minute, and it wouldn't be any worse than what I had already experienced. My husband held my hand, they put me in a chair that looked like a dentist's chair, but they positioned me with me feet in the air and the doctor stuck that tube in me and turned on that suction machine. It was nothing like the cramping of the miscarriage, it was a sharp, stabbing pain. The miscarriage was a dull, sick feeling. It was uncomfortable but bearable. This slicing pain made me cry out for it to be over. They said, "Just one minute and I'll be done."
Well, I wished I'd never let them do it. Though my womb had given up it's contents, it was still a special, sacred place. The suction tube violated that inner sanctum. It felt bad, like someone was trespassing. But momentarily, it was over, and we went home. There I faced the hollowness of my womb and the fact that I no longer carried a new life.
Well, now that I know much more about pregnancy, birth, parenting and the spiritual life of the unborn, I would definitely opt to stay home and not even let them touch me. Now I know what to expect, and I would definitely NOT allow myself to be poked and prodded by medical people.
Below is a selection of links from women who have experienced unassisted miscarriage. I post their stories here with their permission. Perhaps their stories will comfort you and give examples of how other women have dealth with miscarriage at home in a natural way.
Diane - A Quiet, Peaceful Passage
Women who themselves have miscarried at home would like you to know that it is certainly possible to miscarry with a large blood loss, still remain at home and take care of the situation yourself. During the experience, you may experience temporary loss of vision, heart racing, increased respirations, extreme thirst, and other unusual symptoms. After the experience, it is best to stay in bed, at least for a week or until you feel stronger, to take something to build your blood, such as liquid chlorophyll or a super green foods supplement, high potency multi-vitamins, and drink lots of fluids. Eat foods rich in iron, but use liquid chlorophyll to build your blood because iron supplements are not well absorbed. Chlorophyll molecules are IDENTICAL to red blood cells EXCEPT that red blood cells have iron as their center, and chlorophyll has magnesium as its center. However, with the right nutritional support chlorophyll is easily converted to red blood cells with a hemoglobin center.
You might also like to read about ways to deal with Hemorrhaging Before, During and After Birth because a miscarriage IS an actual birth, and many of the ways of dealing with birth hemorrhages would be helpful.
For those who are Rh- , going to the hospital to have a "managed" miscarriage carries all the dangers of a managed birth. Blood mixing is more likely to occur if they insist on giving you a D&C after the miscarriage to make sure you have not retained any of the products of conception. When the baby is miscarried, the fetus usually is expelled whole in it's little sac, and all the blood that is being lost is YOURS. Unless the D&C tools enter your uterus and dismember the fetus, there will probably not be any blood mixing. If you go to the hospital for the miscarriage, they will probably insist on a Rhogam shot. Please learn about the dangers of the Rhogam shot before you decide whether or not to have it. Don't let them force you to have it, many women who have unassisted miscarriages at home never have the Rhogam shot and go on to have healthy babies.
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