First of all, any time you find the word "should" in your vocabulary, you are already in somebody else's business, not your own. It's really not your business what another person does or doesn't do.
If you are acting in accordance with your own inner truth, if you are acting in a pure manner, clear of any untrue thoughts or motivations, this is a magnet to others. People are drawn to authenticity because they sense you are a safe person to be around, and you reflect back to them the qualities that they would like to see in themselves.
Giving someone advice or preaching to them rarely changes their minds about anything. But a person who is clear and true to themselves, you can always know that they will act kindly and compassionately. Even though their words may be hard to hear, they would never intentionally harm you. It is also clear to you from this person's actions that they accept you unconditionally.
Being your authentic self is so peaceful, without conflict. No conflict with others and no conflict with yourself. No conflict with the world at large.
You may think "The world is full of conflict. There are so many things I disagree with, so many things that should not be happening. How can I have peace with that?"
Once again, when you catch yourself using the word "should" or "should not" then you are out of your own business and into somebody else's. It's not your business what the world does. In fact, the world is in the terrible shape it's in precisely BECAUSE each person is constantly into somebody else's business but their own.
You can't rectify that. It's not your responsibility. Your only responsibility is to stay in your own business and make sure YOU are clear of conflict. Then others will follow.
You know for a fact that when someone tries to order you to do something, you will do everything in your power to assert your right to do the opposite. Coercion doesn't work, and it's not attractive.
Acceptance is attractive. Accepting another person as they are. Accepting what happens to you with grace. Accepting a gift from another. Accepting another person's honest communication, no matter how hard it is to hear. Accepting your circumstances, knowing they are always for your good. Accepting your limitations. Accepting yourself unconditionally.
Acceptance takes away the stress of living. Acceptance causes you to stop arguing with reality. Arguing with reality is what causes all your suffering.
You may think that a stressful event is what is causing your suffering, but actually it's your unwillingness to accept the event that is stressful.
Acceptance doesn't mean you have to agree with the action or event. It simply means you acknowledge that it is reality, and that reality is always good.
"But it's not always good," you say. So let's test that thought. Is it true?
Give me an example of an event that is not good.
"I lost my job today." Can you absolutely know that it's true that losing your job is a bad thing?
"Yes, because now I can't pay my bills." Can you absolutely know that it's true that you won't be able to pay your bills? You are AFRAID you won't be able to, but you don't really know that it will happen that way.
Losing your job COULD mean: you'll get a better one, someone will volunteer to help with your bills, some bills may be forgiven, you'll make a lifestyle change where you won't have to worry about bills anymore. No matter what happens, it's all good. Even if you can't pay your bills, it's all good.
"No it's not. I might lose my house, my car, my spouse, my reputation."
Can you absolutely know that it's true that you wouldn't be better off without those things? I know lots of people who live happily without those things.
First of all, my reputation is NOT my business. What other people think about me is THEIR business.
Living without a car is not difficult. I did it for several years and it's quite possible and in many ways less stressful. No car payments, no insurance, no money spent on maintenance, repairs and gas. No possibility of getting speeding tickets. Buses are readily available in most areas and now with Uber and Lyft, rides are easily and cheaply obtainable. And of course, there's always walking or riding a bike or carpooling.
If your spouse is going to leave you because you can't pay your bills, then you're probably better off without them.
And believe it or not, losing your house is also not necessarily a tragedy. I've lost two houses in my life. I rarely give them a second thought.
What's stressing you out is "thinking" about how bad you "imagine" being without those things might be. It's your thoughts, once again, that are causing your suffering, not reality.
How do you react when you think the thought "I might lose everything." You panic, you make poor decisions, you are constantly afraid, and you miss opportunities that are right in front of you because you are fixated on an illusion. And you're probably pretty unpleasant to be around.
Acceptance is so much more peaceful, so infused with integrity. It dispels confusion, simplifies difficulties, and provides a center for you to inhabit within yourself. Finding it only requires you to question your thoughts honestly. The answers then become obvious.
Learn to questions your thoughts HERE
If you need help with this, email us at unhinderedliving@gmail.com
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