Freud popularized the concepts of the id, the ego and the superego. But admittedly, he got a few things wrong. While he believed the id was like a horse and the ego the rider that controlled it, we could hardly call the ego reason and sanity when it has become apparent that the job of the ego is to keep you believing a story that is not true, just so it can stay in control. The ego is selfish and deceitful.
Oh, to be sure, others help the ego out. Parents, siblings, and other caregivers, by the way they respond to the infant, help create the story. But ultimately, the ego looks at the experiences given to the infant by those around him and concocts a story which may remain with the infant for life, unless he is able to question his thoughts sufficiently and dispel the dream created for him.
One of the things parents are eager to do is force their child into independence as quickly as possible. We want them to learn to sleep through the night, learn to entertain themselves, learn to go to the babysitter's without crying. All this requires separating from the parent. But up until that time, the child has seen the parent as an extension of himself. There has been no separation, no separate identity. Once we try to force our child to acknowledge and become comfortable with his separateness, the ego takes over. The ego has to construct an identity for the child that explains this separateness. It has to try to help him soothe himself when he's left alone to cry by creating a story that he can tolerate which comforts him.
The only problem is, the story is a lie. The story is a concoction of the ego. We are not truly separate, none of us. The true nature of everything is that all are one.
But the ego doesn't like the young psyche to believe this, because then the ego doesn't get to be in charge. The ego's identity depends on this separateness, on there being a sense of self. And when we develop a sense of self, we develop a belief that we are autonomous. That we operate alone, when in fact we are all interconnected. We begin to make decisions as if we are the center of the universe. We begin to overestimate our importance. We begin to act out in ways that alienate others. And then our parents have to try to teach us what is "appropriate and inappropriate behavior" because they feel we shouldn't be acting this way.
But how can a child act any other way when their oneness with all has been stripped of them and they've been imprisoned in this separateness? The ego then teaches you to protect your separateness, to keep others out of your space, both physical and emotional. And the rift between you and your oneness widens.
So the baby wakes up and looks out for the first time at the world. And we start teaching it the name for things. "Book, chair, tree." Obviously they have to learn these words, but in teaching the words we reinforce the separateness of each and every person, place and thing. Giving something a concrete name of its own just serves to illustrate that it is separate from everything else.
And yet, the science of quantum physics tells us that things are NOT separate. Our universe is a blanket of subatomic particles arranged artfully into shapes and forms. And every one of those subatomic particles is connected. The only reason we see them as books, chairs and trees is because a story has been created for us that TELLS us that's what they are. Those things don't exist in reality until our mind creates them in our thoughts.
Not only is every person one but every thing is one. There is no duality. No good or bad. No black or white. On the subatomic level, light is light. No colors exist. The colors are only seen in our brains after the frequency of the light bouncing into our eyes is translated into pictures. Color does not exist anywhere but in our brains. The same is true for all opposites.
Reality is a wonderful place. But our stories about what reality is leave much to be desired. They leave us stressed, upset, frightened and fearful. And for most of us, we live our whole lives never even aware that the thoughts we are thinking are a dream, created by the ego.
Look at the wall next to you. Reach out and touch it. It feels solid to you, no? And yet, on the subatomic level, all that wall consists of is tiny microscopic particles held together by electrical charges. When the wall feels solid to you, it's the electrical charges that you are feeling. If it weren't for the electrical charges, you could reach right in between the subatomic particles with your hand. It would go right through the wall. Because there's actually nothing solid there. This is true of everything that exists, including your body, mind, personality and thoughts.
There is actually no separation between you and the person sitting next to you. Your subatomic particles are energetically connected. Every event that happens, happens in a reality where all is one. Events that happen are neutral. There are not right or wrong, good or bad events. The judgment that something is right or wrong, good or bad, is a story superimposed upon your thoughts by the ego. It's not reality.
There are several pretty serious and debilitating stories going on out there. One is the story of religion. In this story, you are lost, broken, unacceptable and flawed and need to be fixed by some supernatural being that supposedly knows more than you. With only a little bit of investigation, one can see that this story is false. The ego lures you in by appealing to your true nature, which is oneness. It tells you that you can alleviate your separateness by appeasing this being with sacrifices. Only no sacrifice is ever enough, and none of the sacrifices actually accomplishes anything. So you are told the story that you are one with this being, but you still feel the separateness in the core of your being, so you know it's false.
Another story going on out there is the story of success. In this story, you must make something, achieve something or accomplish something to be worthy and then be given all the rewards available to someone who has exceled in competition against his fellow humans. Once again, this creates superiority and separateness.
Another story is the story of love. In this story, you will not find happiness unless you are paired with one other human being. This supposedly will alleviate your separateness. But in fact, it only serves to magnify that you have cut yourself off from the rest of the world by pairing with just one person. That one person may partially meet your needs for a while, but eventually it becomes obvious that you are still cut off. You are living in a tiny puddle of water instead of a huge ocean. And you expect this one person to fulfill the role that the oneness of the whole universe was meant to fill. No wonder so many relationships fail and 50% of marriages end in divorce.
The most debilitating story is the story of death. In this story, you will either be killed by an accident or a person or a disease. We think of this as the ultimate separateness, which we want to avoid at all costs. But what we don't realize is that even when the physical body ceases to sustain life as we narrowly define it, those subatomic particles still exist, they just change to a different form. We haven't really gone anywhere. Those pleasing forms and shapes that organize subatomic particles into matter we can see simply change into forms we can't see with the naked eye.
Please don't mistake this for the belief in a heaven or hell. That is a purely fictional concept. I'm simply saying, death is not the end of life because the essence of who we are cannot be destroyed.
And anyway, the more you worry about your death, the less you will live NOW. Death is not something sad any more than a caterpillar turning into a butterfly is sad. Those that die have made a wonderful transition back into the original form our energy inhabited. You don't have to believe in a god or heaven or hell to find that mystical and exciting. It's a simple fact of science.
So I can choose not to believe any of the stories listed above. What would I believe instead?
Well, first of all, by stripping away the ego, you strip away your separateness and get to experience the oneness of all. Divesting the ego of it's stories takes some work, because the ego holds on intensely to its power. As you start to strip away the ego, it will kick and scream and throw a fit. It will try to make you defend your story. It will try to makes you blame everybody else. It will try to hold onto its separateness because it thinks this makes it special. It will judge everything and everybody. It will try to draw lines, make everything black and white, and make you fearful of leaving your story behind. It will try to make you fearful of pain, suffering and death. But there's nothing to fear.
"Who would you be without your story?" as Byron Katie says. You'd be free.
Free from the expectations of others. Free from the expectations of society, your spouse, your parents, your employer, your church. Free from the need to please anybody. Free from the need to compete with others. Free from the need to accumulate wealth (although there's nothing wrong with having wealth, it's just not necessary). Free from the need to judge. Free from the need to be right. Free from the need to blame and make others wrong. Free from the need to change anybody or anything, including yourself.
Send us Email: unhinderedliving@gmail.com
Like us on Facebook!
Copyright Judie C. McMath and The Center for Unhindered Living
No comments:
Post a Comment